


Drifting

by AidanChase



Category: Free!
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Drama, Gen, M/M, Pacific Rim AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-25 02:38:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AidanChase/pseuds/AidanChase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your favorite swimming boys load up in Jaegers and save the world from the destruction of the kaiju. But it’s not all plasma cannons and giant monsters. There’s a lot of unresolved drama here.<br/>or<br/>Rin and Haru were the star Jaeger pilots of the Jaeger program. But it all went wrong on their fourth drop. Can they find a way to come back together to save the planet?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In A Jaeger

They were just kids back then. Kids who didn't know what to do with themselves, but wanted to make a difference. Everyone was joining up with the Jaeger program right out of high school, so why would they be any different?

That was back when it was the four of them: Haruka Nanase, Makoto Tachibana, Nagisa Hazuki, and Rin Matsuoka. But only the best of the best made it. It would be a miracle if any of them did, much less all of them.

But Haruka and Rin were something special.

Haru didn't live for much. There wasn't much of interest in the world, as far as he was concerned. But things were different around Rin, and things were different after his first time in a Jaeger. He fell in love with the drift, the empty space where you were perfectly united with one person, mind and body. He fell in love with the size and power of a Jaeger. In a Jaeger, he felt like he could do anything.

It was 4am on a Sunday when the alarms in the Shatterdome went off. 

Rin leapt out of bed and shook Haru awake with a wide grin. "Come on, Haru. Up and at 'em!" He kicked the bed for good measure then threw on a shirt.

Haru was much slower. He never really looked like he fully woke up, even if he slept until noon. His blood didn't run quick unless he was in a Jaeger.

Rin looked over the alert. "Codename Knifehead. First Category Three ever." He whistled. "They'll send us out with Tachibana. Sounds fun."

Haru never thought of fighting kaiju as fun, but it was the only way to get in a Jaeger. They didn't let you spend millions of dollars in fuel and equipment just to let you sit in the drift. So he tagged along after Rin to the loading platform.

The pit crew dressed them in the neural interface suits first, then the Motion Rig second. Then it was into the cockpit.

"Good morning, boys," came Kou Matsukoa's voice through the Jaeger comm.

"Morning, Sis," Rin answered. "How's the weather looking out there?"

"There's a storm coming in, but it won't be bother you to you guys. Haru, you awake?"

Rin laughed. "He's here. He'll be more talkative once we drift."

"Killer Whale, are you ready to go?" she asked.

"Locked and loaded," answered Makoto's voice over the speaker.

"Alright! Shark Bait, dropping you now."

Haru's stomach lurched as the cockpit--the head--slid down twenty stories and landed on top of the thirty-stories-tall Jaeger. Gears clicked into place and Shark Bait rolled out of the Tokyo Shatterdome, into the ocean.

"Counting down to neural handshake," Kou said. "Four, three, two--"

It went so fast, and it was so familiar. Haru's memories blurred with Rin's-- 

_Starting school together. Joining the swim team. Haru's grandmother's illness. The kaiju attack that killed Rin's father. Rin convincing Haru to sign up for the Jaeger program. The confidence. The self-doubt. The drive for vengeance. Gou joining the tech team. Their first kaiju kill. Their second. Their third._

\--and then it was gone, drifted away. And Rin's thoughts were Haru's thoughts, and Haru's movements were Rin's movements.

"Neural handshake holding for both. Kaiju locked twenty miles off the coast. Hold it at ten. It gets past that line and we won't be able to keep off shore."

"Understood," four voices answered in unison.

Haruka and Rin each stepped forward--right, left, right, left--in perfect synchronization. Their eyes focused on the display: infrared, ultraviolet, sonic, everything to give them a full view of the ocean floor.

They saw the kaiju, five miles ahead of them, in shallower waters. The readable stats popped up on their display.

"This thing's dense," Rin whistled.

"Well, that's what we're here for," Makoto said over the intercom.

The earth beneath them tilted upwards, and Shark Bait's head rose above the water as they hiked the hill. Killer Whale came up on their right. And in front of them, the kaiju reared its ugly head.

"Activating left plasma cannon," Haru said.

"Activating right," Makoto said.

Rin shifted his right shoulder forward while the plasma cannon charged in both a defensive move and preparation for attack.

The kaiju roared at the two Jaegers and lifted a webbed claw from the ocean. It came down on Shark Bait's right shoulder. Rin gritted his teeth as the neural sensors shot pain through his shoulder but he held his position.

"Charged," said Haru, and together they swung the Jaeger's left side forward and fired the plasma cannon into the kaijus silicon belly.

While it reeled from their hit, Killer Whale fired theirs. The monster went down and the toxic kaiju blue bubbled to the surface.

"That was a Category Three?" Rin laughed.

But it hadn't been all that easy. Haru could still feel the shoulder pain, even if it wasn't his own.

"Good teamwork," Makoto said over the intercom. "We should go out together more often."

Rin turned his head to Haru. Haru glanced at Rin automatically, without thinking about it.

"What, too short a time in the drift for you?"

"Yeah."

Haru would regret that word for the next eight years.

It started out as a rumble at their feet, and then it turned into a roar that shook the Jaeger as the kaiju broke the surface of the ocean and ran its axe-shaped head into Killer Whale's left side.

Haru and Rin instantly fired up the plasma cannon and turned the Jaeger, but Killer Whale was already falling into the ocean and Knifehead was swimming towards the shore, leaving a trail of kaiju blue behind him.

"We're taking on water!" Makoto shouted. "We can't--"

Rin and Haru, for the first time since the beginning of training, fell out of sync.

"Shark Bait!" Kou shouted. "Shark Bait your handshake is slipping!"

"We have to save the city," Haru said.

Rin tightened his jaw. "Mako needs us."

"Shark Bait, your orders are to stop that kaiju before it gets to Tokyo!" Kou screamed at them. "Go!"

The handshake slipped back into place, but Haru could tell it was different. They weren't holding at their usual ninety percent.

Still, Shark Bait took a step forward, and pushed its way through the ocean towards the fleeing kaiju. They moved as fast as they could. The wounded kaiju, luckily, could not move any faster. The right arm reached down and grabbed the kaiju's tail. Haru noticed he no longer felt the shoulder pain.

He fired the plasma cannon again. The kaiju roared and clamped its jaws around the hand. Haru winced, but fired the cannon again.

"Warning. Plasma cannon overheating. Please wait to reload."

But he fired again. The kaiju roared, but didn't move. It tried to pull the Jaeger down into the sea with it.

"Dammit," Rin cursed and threw his fist into the side of the kaiju's head. Again. And again, and again, until its jaws loosened its grip and it fell back into the ocean. Then he loaded up the right-side plasma cannon. 

The kaiju came out of the water and leapt at the Jaeger. Both boys felt its claws dig into their chest.

Rin fired three shots into its brain and again the beast fell back into the ocean.

"That sure has hell better be it," he panted and converted the cannon back into a hand.

Haru did the same.

"Kaiju signature down," Kou said. "Come back to the dome--"

"Like hell! We're going after Mako and--"

"A rescue team is on its way. Your Jaeger is damaged. You get back to the dome now!"

"We'll go after them," Haru said quietly and switched off the communication with the Tokyo Shatterdome.

But he could feel it in the drift. They weren't synced like they used to be. And even agreeing with Rin now wasn't going to salvage it.


	2. Finding a Substitute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Nagisa need to convince Haruka to come back to the Jaeger program for one last attempt to stop the kaiju before the funding stops.

8 YEARS LATER

Kou Matsuoka slouched in her seat and sighed loudly. She straightened back up, only to adjust her tie. "Shutting down the Jaeger program is the worst idea ever."

But Marshal Miho Amakata tutted quietly. "I know how you feel. But we have only three operational Jaegers and only four pilots left."

"We have six pilots and like three and a half Jaegers."

"But two of our pilots are not drift compatible."

"We're looking for partners," Kou said sullenly.

Amakata sighed. "I agree with you that it's unwise, but there's just no funding left. We have to take the project to Hong Kong until the walls are completed. It's what the world is asking for."

"The world leaders, but not the people."

"The people do not line our pockets." Amakata smiled sadly. "There was a famous playwright, who once said--"

"What about Operation Freestyle? If we can get one more Jaeger team together, we would have the man power to pull it off."

Marshal Amakata put her finger to her chin in thought. "Hmm. That might work. We'll need to consult with the research division and have more solid data. If our program is getting shut down in six months, we might as well go out with a bang."

\-----

Haruka was lying face down, ears, nose, and eyes buried in the salt water until he couldn't hold his breath any longer.

He turned himself over, gasped for air, and floated on his back. But he kept his eyes close and his ears underwater.

Swimming was the closest thing to being in the drift. In that gentle space, where you felt like you could do anything or be anything. There were no sounds under water, nothing to look at. No distractions. Just existing.

It was just a lot lonelier when no one else was in your head.

The gentle tide washed him back up onto the shore of the quiet cove, and only then did he hear it: a voice he hadn't heard for eight years.

"Haru?"

He opened his eyes to see Makoto standing above him. And then Nagisa was there too. He half-expected Rin to appear, but--no. That was impossible.

Makoto smiled and extended a hand down. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

Haru took it, let Mako pull him to his feet. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?

Nagisa grinned. "That's a secret."

Makoto laughed. "No it's not. Come on. Let's talk about it over food."

\-----

Makoto, Nagisa, and Haruka all sat down in the small seaside diner. It was rundown, like everything along the pacific coast these days. Their table was against a window that looked out onto the ocean. 

Haru only picked at his mackerel, far more interested in the waves outside. The way they crashed onto the beach in white foam and rolled over the sand and back. Like moving in the drift.

"Haru, are you listening?"

He tore his eyes away from the ocean and forced himself back into the diner. Back to the noise and the chaos and the overall increase in stimuli. "I thought they were shutting down the Jaeger program." He took a bite of his fish. "Why would they ask me back?"

"Kou has a last ditch effort to take the kaiju out once and for all, but we need more Jaeger pilots."

"Rin and I aren't drift compatible anymore." 

Makoto should've known that better than anyone.

"You'd be getting a new co-pilot."

Haruka shook his head. "No."

The diner waitress suddenly turned up the volume on the television. Breaking News: Kaiju Smashes Wall in Sydney, Australia

The boys stared at the screen, watched the footage of the giant monster smashing the rubble and mortar that humans had spent years building in less than an hour. It was big, bigger than Haru had ever seen before.

"They're all category fours now," Nagisa said. "We haven't seen a category three in, what, four years?"

Makoto nodded. "It's getting worse, not better. We need more pilots like you, Haru."

Haru took another bite of his mackerel.

"You miss the drift, don't you?" Nagisa asked.

He didn't answer, but he stopped chewing.

"Just come with us to Hong Kong," Nagisa tried again. "Talk to Gou. Maybe you'll want to get back in a Jaeger when you get there."

Haru swallowed his fish and looked at Makoto. "Are you back in a Jaeger?"

Makoto scratched at his cheek and smiled. "We'll see."

Haruka looked back out the window. Back to the waves. It would be nice to drift again. But if it was with someone other than Rin, would it feel the same? At least he'd be in a Jaeger. The world looked better in a Jaeger. And Nagisa and Mako were right about the kaiju attacks getting worse. He'd noticed it just from catching the news on occasion--an increase in size and an increase in frequency. If Kou had a plan to end it, once and for all, that was probably a good thing.

"I'll go back with you," he said. But it would be a surprise if they found someone compatible for him. Haruka wasn't exactly good at connecting with people. Probably another reason he loved the drift so much.

\-----

The chopper landed on the Hong Kong Shatterdome loading platform. It was pouring rain. Monsoon season.

Rain was the third best thing Haruka had found, compared to being in the drift. When it came down hard like this, and was so loud, and prevented you from feeling anything else. He stepped out of the helicopter without waiting for Makoto to get him an umbrella. The water soaked him to the bone instantly.

"Haru--you'll catch a cold--"

And the sensation of rain on his skin and relaxing feeling of nothing else was gone as Makoto stepped along side him and held an umbrella over them both. There were too many things to feel, to think about when you were outside the drift. Too much cold in the damp air. Too much warmth from Makoto standing behind him. Too many different tastes in the atmosphere or sounds demanding attention.

"Make room for me!" Nagisa shouted and pushed his way under the umbrella. He was holding something tight and bulky under his coat. Haru hadn't seen what it was, but it had come off the chopper with them.

The three of them stayed close together for the walk from the helicopter to the interior of the dome. Just as the doors before the doors closed behind them, a fourth person slipped in.

"Wait--Wait, for me!"

This fourth person was someone Haru had never seen before. He was tall, physically fit, with square-framed red glasses.

"Oh, there you are," Nagisa said. "Haru, this is Rei Ryugazaki. Rei, this is--"

But Rei finished the introduction. "Haruka Nanase. Former pilot of Shark Bait. Four kaiju kills in two years. You set a record in your days as a pilot." Rei adjusted his glasses and his cheeks looked a little pink. "I was a big fan when I was younger."

Haru was mildly impressed.

"Rei and I are science division," Nagisa smiled, and showed them the precious package he'd been carrying. A cylinder, about the size of his chest, with kaiju tissue preserved inside. "Isn't it neat?"

"As long as you keep that away from my work space. I don't need anymore silicon on my calculations, thank you."

Haru's brow furrowed--the most expression he'd shown in a long time. "Nagisa--you're not Makoto's co-pilot?"

"Huh? No." Nagisa looked confused now. "My simulator score was 50 drops and only 10 kills. I was never as good as you or Makoto." Or Rin, but they all felt that name was better left unsaid.

Haru looked at Makoto.

Makoto scratched his cheek and smiled. That same expression from the diner. Nervous, uncomfortable, wary, and slightly embarrassed. "About your new co-pilot...."


	3. Compatibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Haruka test their drift compatibility. Rin and Haruka see each other for the first time in 8 years.

Haruka drew himself up to his full height and swung the four-foot long wooden staff forward in a simple motion, no complicated twists or turns, and held it straight out in front with both hands.

Makoto lifted his staff and swung it around backwards, making a full turn in the movement, and twisted the staff around, then held it so it was pointing down, his chest temptingly open for attack.

With opening moves out of the way, the real compatibility test began.

But neither Haruka nor Makoto were the sort to make the first move. There was a long pause. Then Makoto swung up: quick, powerful. Haruka blocked it and went for Makoto's right shoulder. Makoto parried and with surprising speed swung for Haruka's open side. He held back the hit though, and let the point stand by holding his staff inches from Haruka's body.

"One-zero," Kou said from her position off the mat.

She stood on the sidelines with Marshal Amakata, observing the compatibility trials. She looked excited, eager for this to work. Haruka knew he was her last shot at getting Makoto back into a Jaeger, and if he had to be honest with himself, Makoto might've been the only person he would get back into a Jaeger with.

He'd had his doubts when Makoto finally confessed they were going to be testing together. He and Makoto weren't alike. They didn't like the same things, they didn't act the same way, and they definitely didn't think the same way.

Even watching Makoto's opening move, the move that bares your strategy and style for your opponent while keeping a competitive edge back, he'd thought, "This isn't going to work."

Until now.

When he got a point on Makoto's wrist and Mako retaliated with a withheld strike to his left side, Haru started to see it. Technically, kendo matches ended at two points, but the Jaeger program compatibility tests went to four. And this was why: because now, their movements were like two magnets of the same pull. As one moved forward, the other moved away. Then suddenly their staffs were striking each other in a flurry of blows and blocks as they began to anticipate each others' tactics and moved almost in unison.

Haru ducked under one of Mako's swings and in the upturn, aimed for Mako's side. Mako blocked and swung for Haru's wrist. Haru dropped his hands down and swung his staff into Mako's stomach.

"Two-two."

They both stopped. Haru leaned against his staff, breathing heavily, and Mako stretched his arms over his head and nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, I think we're good."

But then Mako frowned. Haru turned around, to look at Kou and Marshal Amakata, What could possibly be so wrong after how perfectly simple that match had felt?

And then he saw it. It wasn't Kou or Marshal Amakata that was wrong. It was what was behind them.

Rin stood in the doorway of the small room, arms folded over his chest, and a glare on his face. Haruka felt all the air vanish from his body, like Makoto had just landed a direct hit on his stomach.

Rin was eight years older and looked worn out, like he'd been fighting with eight years of unresolved anger. But the worst part was that expression, something between disdain and disapproval, that drove into Haruka's gut and made him want to run away and dive to the bottom of the ocean, and never come back up for air.

But Haruka didn't run. He didn't even tense or straighten or smile or frown. And Rin was the one who had to break eye contact.

"Tch. Gou, you're wasting your time. I won't ship out with a ranger who can't even set foot in a Conn-Pod without crying, and I definitely won't go out with a has-been who won't defend his comrades."

Haruka's body tensed at the insult. No one seemed to notice but Makoto, who gently brushed his hand against Haru's wrist.

But Haruka pulled away and tightened his grip on his staff.

Rin's upper lip curled into a sneer and he stalked into the room the way a storm rolls in over the coast. He snatched Makoto's staff.

"Wait, Rin--"

But when Haruka lifted his staff over his head and brought it down for his opener, Makoto obediently stepped off the mat.

Rin's sneer turned into a haughty grin and he twisted the staff freely in one hand before bringing it into a sharp upswing. The end of his staff hovered inches from Haruka's for a split second, marking the finish of his opening move, then he brought the staff down towards Haruka's wrist.

But Haruka saw it coming. He knew Rin and he knew Rin would not hesitate the way Makoto had. He took a step back and their staffs struck. Rin did not give Haruka any time to retaliate.

He drew his staff back across his body then swung out, effectively blocking his center while attacking Haruka's. Haru swung forward, and his staff shuddered from the force of the blow.

Rin gritted his teeth and tried again, but Haru side-stepped instead of blocked and scored a hit on Rin's side in the midst of his recovery.

Rin swore and came back with a new force in his swing. Haru blocked the first one, but Rin was faster this time, and swung at Haru's side. Haru flinched from the blow, but swung before Rin could recover and hit Rin in the knee. It wasn't technically a legal hit, but Rin wasn't playing fair at this point either.

Haru blocked the next blow and tried to get a point off the side of Rin's head. Rin dodged, then struck Haru's wrist so hard he dropped his staff. But it was a real fight now and Rin didn't wait for Haru to pick it back up before taking a shot at Haru's head.

Haru ducked and picked his staff up in a tumble, then swept it backwards, knocking Rin's feet out from underneath him.

Rin hit the floor with a thud and rolled out of the way of Haru's next strike. He leapt to his feet and swung hard before Haru could turn around. His staff collided with the back of Haru's head.

"Haru--"

But Haruka ignored Makoto and turned around to face Rin. If they counted illegal hits, it was three-three. He was determined not to let Rin score another point.

Their staffs collided in quick succession--above, below, center--as they attacked and blocked each other simultaneously. And then Rin swung low, used the same tactic Haru had used a moment ago and went for the kneecaps. Before Haru could get up, Rin pressed his foot into his chest and the end of the staff to his throat.

They were both breathing heavily, sweating, and staring at each other so intensely it almost felt like being in the drift. There was nothing else to Haru. Nothing but Rin and their connection, however bitter and broken it was.

Makoto was the one who interrupted it. He ran onto the mat and pushed Rin off of Haru, then knelt down to help Haru sit up.

"Haru--Haru, you're bleeding."

Haru put a hand to the back of his head. He had thought the trickle down his neck was just sweat, but Mako was right. It was definitely blood in his hair.

"Tch." Rin threw his staff down. It clattered on the floor and he walked out of the room with the same fury he'd entered with. He didn't even look at his sister when he passed her.

"Let's get you to the infirmary."

Mako tried to help Haru stand, but Haru didn't move.

"You didn't tell me Rin was here, too."

"Would you have come if I did?" Makoto pulled him to his feet despite his resistance.

"Is he still piloting?"

Makoto kept a hand on Haruka's shoulder as they walked out. "You didn't know? He's been stationed in Australia the last five years."

Haruka meant to ask a question about Rin's co-pilot, but he got distracted by Kou and Marshal Amakata's conversation behind them.

"It's a shame," Amakata was saying. "A real loss."

"Even after eight years apart, they're still so compatible," Kou sighed wistfully.

Haruka leaned into Makoto. For the first time in his life he craved the feeling of something solid, something outside the drift. Because he knew Kou was right. As violent as the fight had been, as rough and untempered as they were with each other, he and Rin had fought as equals. They had held their own and anticipated each other's attacks. Part of it had felt so good, like that feeling he had missed in these last eight years. 

But it had also hurt a lot, and Haruka didn't know what that meant. He'd never experienced something like that before. It felt like the drift had betrayed him.

Makoto wrapped an arm around his shoulder and supported him on their walk to the infirmary. And Haru felt light. Or maybe that was just the concussion and possible hemorrhaging in his brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Rei and Nagisa will finally be in the next chapter.


	4. In the Drift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa is determined to one-up Rei's kaiju research. Makoto and Haruka drift for the first time.

Nagisa set the container on his desk with a proud smile on his face. He looked to the other side of the small room, where Rei was alternating between chewing on the end of a pen and scribbling numbers down. Nagisa skipped over and leaned into Rei's back obnoxiously.

"Still doing your boring formulas?"

"We can't all just stick our hands into kaiju entrails and call it science," Rei scoffed and leaned back in his chair, forcing Nagisa away.

Nagisa pouted for a moment, then reached around and snatched Rei's glasses. "Wow, you're really blind," he said as he put them on.

"Give those back!"

And that was how Gou and Marshal Amakata found them tangled in each other's limbs over Nagisa's desk.

"Are we interrupting something?" Amakata asked sweetly.

Rei blushed and quickly straightened. "No, Ma'am." He snatched his glasses off Nagisa's face.

Nagisa grinned unabashedly. "Here to hear all about my impressive research?"

"Your impressive research consists of little other wild theories and unsupported hypotheses," Rei snapped. "I, on the other hand, have actual evidence."

Nagisa mock yawned as Kou and Marshal Amakata followed Rei to his desk.

Rei shuffled through the papers. "Kaiju attacks have occurred more and more frequently, but it's not random. It's a pattern that can be mathematically calculated."

Nagisa yawned so loudly Rei had to wait for him to finish before he could continue.

"With this formula, we can predict when the kaiju will come through, when the portal will be opened, and then know when we can destroy it."

Kou and Marshal Amakata exchanged a glance.

"That sounds helpful," Marshal Amakata said. "Has your formula proven to work?"

"If I'm right, we'll be witnessing a double event in the next week."

Nagisa let out a choked laugh. "Sure, guesses and numbers don't mean anything. You need something way more concrete before you drop a nuclear bomb in the Pacific Ocean."

Rei adjusted his glasses. "My calculations are perfectly sound. Your research barely deserve the name of science."

"Do you have something more concrete for us?" Gou asked.

"Well--not exactly," Nagisa confessed. "At least not yet. But I have an idea. Think about it. What if I drifted with a kaiju?"

"No," Gou answered quickly.

Rei snickered.

"Come on! I know how the drift works. We could learn so much."

"It would kill you," Marshal Amakata said simply.

"Rei, can you send your predictions to me?" Gou asked. "We'll plan an attack time when the portal is opened."

"Please, Gou," Nagisa insisted. "I can drift with a kaiju. It would be the most valuable learning experience--"

"It's Kou."

"I'll have them on your desk right away, Kou," Rei quickly cut in.

The women smiled their thank yous and left the small office.

Rei folded his arms smugly. "I told you."

Nagisa folded his arms, too. "I told you," he said in a mocking voice. "Whatever. Just wait. I'll have more information on kaiju than your calculations could ever get."

\------

Haruka let out a deep breath and tugged at the Motion Rig plates on his chest. It had been so long since he'd worn one. It felt heavy. And for the first time ever, he felt apprehension about entering the drift.

Haruka and Makoto stood on the bridge, waiting until all the checks were completed before they could enter the cockpit. It somehow made him feel better that Makoto looked nervous, too.

"Are you going to be alright?" Makoto asked.

Haruka shrugged his shoulders. He gently touched the bandage on his head. It seemed fine. "Are you?"

"Sure. If you're there."

Haruka wasn't sure how to take that. But he was spared having to reply by two young adults he didn't recognize.

"Makoto!" they both shouted as they ran across the bridge.

Makoto smiled widely at them. "Ran! Ren! You came."

These were Makoto's younger siblings? They had gotten so much bigger than Haruka remembered them. That was what children did, after all.

"We're not going to miss our big brother drifting," Ren grinned.

"We can finally go out and fight kaiju together!" Ran laughed. "It'll be so much fun."

Haruka glanced at Makoto. They were pilots? Twins often made good pilots, but he had just thought they were so young.

As the twins disappeared into the control center to watch, and Makoto and Haruka walked into the Conn-Pod, Makoto explained, "They joined up right at eighteen. I couldn't talk them out of it. And they're actually really good."

They stepped into the controls and the pit crew attached the Jaeger to their motion rigs. Makoto took the right, Haruka took the left. Just like they had with their other partners, eight years ago.

"How're we doing boys?" Kou's familiar echoed through the cockpit.

"Fine," Makoto answered.

Haru could hear the apprehension in his voice.

"Haru?"

"Fine," he answered quietly.

"Alright, ready? I'm going to initiate the neural handshake. Five, four, three, two, one--"

Haruka closed his eyes in preparation for the drift. The flurry of memories never lasted long, but it was still a lot of information to absorb, especially when you drifted with someone for the first time.

_School. Childhood. Summer festivals as children. A happier Rin. A shyer Kou. Nagisa, same as always. Graduation. Rin convincing them all to join the Jaeger program. Makoto watching Rin and Haru perform exceptionally. Makoto meeting his own co-pilot. Makoto's first kaiju kill. Haru's first kaiju kill. Haru's second. Makoto's second. Haru's third. Haru's fourth and Makoto's third. The shoulder pain. The shoulder pain. The chest pain. Screaming. Screaming. The sensation of drowning. Silence. Silence. A fight in a locker room with Rin. Makoto's emotional breakdown in a Conn-Pod. Silence. The ocean. The rain. Fighting with Ren and Ran about joining the Jaeger program. Fear. The ocean. The rain. Silence. Their compatibility test. The fight with Rin. Silence. Silence. Silence._

And the images passed, so quickly, so much, that Haru and Makoto both reeled from it all. They stood in silence, letting it wash away. Together they sat in that in-between space, and for the first time in eight years, Haru felt at peace.

They raised their right arm. they raised their left. They turned their head.

They looked at each other and nodded.

They--and the Jaeger--shifted into a combat stance. Ready to go.

They heard Kou cheer through the speaker. "Neural handshake holding!"

\------

Nagisa pulled the headset on. There was nothing but determination in his eyes as he rigged up the the drift gear to his kaiju brain sample.

He'd drifted in the Jaeger program classes before, so he knew what to expect. But he hadn't predicted just how different a kaiju brain would be from a human brain.

When he pushed the button, to activate the drift, the rush of images he expected came at him, but instead of coming at him like a normal wave of the drift, they came at him like a tsunami.

_Childhood. A foreign planet. Tagging along with Makoto and Rin and Haru. Monsters, grown, created, cloned. Swimming together. Worlds lost and destroyed. Joining the Jaeger program. Earth, a wasteland. Flunking his pilot training. Creatures that owned, Masters and slaves. Receiving a commendation for his work with kaiju research. So many minds. So many sounds. Shouting, screaming, in a language he didn't understand. Activity. Activity. Screaming. Screaming Screaming. Human. Human. Human. Hum--_

\--The next thing Nagisa was aware of was Rei shaking his shoulder. He could see Rei's mouth moving but he couldn't hear anything, not even as Rei pulled off the drift gear headset.

Marshal Amakata and Gou were there. Someone shoved a glass of water into his hand. He still couldn't hear. His hand shook as he brought the water to his lips.

And then finally, finally, Rei's voice broke through the deafness.

"You idiot. You could have died."

\------

Haru and Mako sat together on the steel beams that overlooked the Shatterdome. They didn't have much to say. Being in someone else's memories made it feel like you already knew it all.

Haru finally said, so quietly it was almost inaudible, "I always thought--I always thought you blamed me the way Rin did."

Mako's fingers brushed against his wrist, the same way they had back when Rin had arrived to their compatibility test. "I would never do that. You made the right choice. The city was more important."

"It cost you your partner."

"There's no guarantee you could have saved him."

They were silent for a long moment. Barely touching, but still so connected.

"I'm still scared," Makoto finally said, "getting back into Jaeger. But if you're there, I feel less scared."

For the second time in his life, Haru craved a solid stimulus. He leaned his bandaged head against Mako's shoulder. He felt the cotton t-shirt against his cheek and Mako's body heat beneath it. He breathed in the scent of sweat and and the polycarbonate used to make the Motion Rigs. He listened to the steady rhythm of Mako's heart.

It was almost as good as drifting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't gotten to the part of the book where Newt drifts with the kaiju brain, so I am not sure if I wrote that drift description correctly. I apologize if it's incorrect. Even though I have seen the film, I didn't want to skip ahead in the book and spoil myself, but I did really need to write this scene, so I hope it worked alright.


	5. Debriefing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kou goes over Operation Freestyle! Rei and Nagisa go into downtown Hong Kong, looking for a new kaiju brain to drift with.

Nagisa gulped down the last of the water and let out a deep breath. For a minute he'd been terrified he wouldn't make it, but he was starting to feel better, to feel more like himself and less like a kaiju.

He'd told Marshal Amakata everything, even if it had been a lot of stuttering. And the shocked look on Rei's face had been so worth it. He grinned, now, and stretched his arms.

"We need more information than that. You'll need to do it again," Marshal Amakata said.

His grin dropped. "Again? We don't exactly have another kaiju brain lying around."

The Marshal pulled a small card from her pocket. "Go to this address. Tell them what you need. I'll give you the money for it, but--don't tell him I sent you."

Nagisa raised his eyebrows. "You have connections to the black market, Ama-chan?"

She blushed and he was sure it wasn't the nickname. "That's Marshal Amakata. And my connections are my own business. Go. Take Rei with you. Better to travel in numbers. Get back as quickly as you can."

Rei frowned. "I hardly think my time should be spent handling--"

"Go. That's an order."

Rei's obvious discomfort only encouraged Nagisa. "Come on, Rei. It'll be fun. Like spies on a top secret mission."

Rei did not seem any happier about the task ahead of them.

\------

Haruka followed Makoto into the briefing room. Ren and Ran came running in after them. In the corner was Rin, with two other men. One tall with red hair, and one short with light hair. But which one was the new co-pilot?

Rin caught his eye for a moment, but quickly looked away. Haru would have probably stayed there, staring, but Mako's fingers gently tugged at his wrist without grabbing, and he took a seat at one of the desks on the other side of the room.

Kou skipped into the room excitedly, a tablet clutched against her chest. She stood at the front and surveyed her audience. "Good! Everyone is here." But she frowned at Rin's corner.

"Mikoshiba--you don't need to be here."

"My team, my rules," the red-headed one answered. "And you can call me Seijuuro, you know." His smile was friendly, but Kou just shrugged her shoulders.

"My plan, my rules. So! Everyone knows we're going through with Operation Freestyle! Which is dropping a really big bomb into the breach and blowing the whole thing up. Nitori and Rin have the fastest Jaeger, Mark V, so you'll run point, and we'll put Twin Blade and Golden Boy on defense."

Kou had explained to Haru after the drift trial that his and Makoto's Jaeger was a refitted Mark III, whose pilots had both gone down off the coast of Peru. But the Jaeger was salvaged and had a lot of modern weapons. She'd run him and Makoto through all of them in a crash course session. Hopefully most of it would come naturally. He was never good at paying attention to lectures.

Ideally, he'd pilot Shark Bait, which she said was still functional, but it hadn't been upgraded since he and Rin quit, so it had a lot of work to be done before it would be combat-ready. Which was fine with him. It wouldn't feel right to pilot it with Makoto.

"You can't hit the breach," Mikoshiba scoffed. "Everything we throw off it bounces off. You drop a nuke down there and you'll take out half the ocean instead."

Kou's grin was secretive. "Our research team knows when the drift will be open. They can predict kaiju attacks--"

The alarm rang throughout the Shatterdome.

"Kaiju alert!" someone shouted from the hallway.

"Suit up," Kou said quickly as she ran to the command center.

"Did they predict that?" Rin asked with a sneer.

"Yes!" she shouted back. "They said it would be a double event so all of you get into your Jaegers now!"

\------

Rei stuck close to Nagisa and kept a wary eye around the busy city. He wasn't much for crowds, and he definitely wasn't much for the city's bone slums, built around kaiju remains in the wake of one of the early kaiju attacks. Anyone who couldn't afford government-mandatory relocation (what an oxymoron that was) stayed here, at risk of kaiju attack at any moment.

Nagisa seemed energetic enough to be considered oblivious as he searched the streets for the address on the card. Even the increasing rain didn't deter him from their task at hand.

Rei, however, frowned and wished they'd brought an umbrella.

"Here it is!" Nagisa said excitedly and quickly opened the door for Rei.

Rei walked in and was hit with the strong scent of mozzarella, tomato sauce, and pepperoni. This was a... pizza place?

Nagisa walked right up to the counter with a big wide smile. "Hi! We're looking for a kaiju brain, please."

Rei grabbed Nagisa and tried to pull him away from the counter. Surely they had the wrong place-- the address was typed incorrectly, or Marshal Amakata had handed them the wrong card, or it had all just been a practical joke.

"Sorry to have bothered you," he began, but the guy behind the counter did not seem to find them strange at all.

He was tall, tanned, with bleached hair shaved on one side. "Who sent you two?"

"We're not supposed to say," Rei answered.

"Marshal Amakata," Nagisa answered readily. "Do you know her?"

The man scratched his chin and looked up in thought. "It sounds familiar. Hm... now it's going to bother me." He sounded still lost in thought, but motioned for them to follow him to the back. "Cover for me," he said to his coworker, who took over the pizza shop counter.

Rei and Nagisa followed the man into the back of the pizza shop, past the ovens and friers, through a large stainless steel door, and into a room full of harvested kaiju parts. Nagisa's eyes went wide as he jumped from tank to tank.

"You have a full liver! Wow, is that heart still beating? Oh my god--"

Rei grabbed Nagisa's arm. "Stand still for just a minute."

Nagisa remained in place obediently, but his eyes wandered the secret shop the way a child looked through the stalls at his first festival.

"What did you guys say you were after, again?" the man asked.

"A kaiju brain," Rei answered. "Preferably a whole one."

The man mused over his collection for a while before shaking his head. "Can't say we have brain. Doesn't sell for much. What do you need a brain for anyway?"

"Drifting," Nagisa answered readily.

"That doesn't sound like a good idea."

"It's not," Rei said quickly. "But there aren't many other options."

"I did it once," Nagisa tried to wave it off, but Rei noticed the concern in his eyes. 

Rei had never drifted with anyone before, but he knew that Nagisa had drifted with only a piece of a kaiju brain and it had done a lot of neural damage. It was difficult to imagine the possibility of drifting with a full kaiju brain without serious consequences. Even if Nagisa could get the information they needed, there was no guarantee that he could get it to Marshal Amakata.

"Well, short of a kaiju attack, I can't really--"

And then the sirens went off.

"What do we do?" Rei asked quickly.

The man looked unconcerned. "Oh, we have a shelter here. No problem."

A woman in a pizza uniform rushed in carrying a stack of hot pizza boxes. She disappeared into a small door off of the kaiju organ room. Another man began grabbing kaiju samples.

"Help out boys," the man said. "Grab what you can and follow us downstairs. I'm Sasabe, by the way."

"Nagisa. And this is Rei-chan."

"Just Rei," he corrected quickly and carefully lifted a small bottle that looked like it had kaiju teeth inside.

Nagisa grabbed the edge of his sleeve. "Hey--Rei," he said quietly. He glanced over at Sasabe, like he didn't want anyone to overhear. "I think the kaiju's after me. You know, because I drifted? I'm gonna lead it off. Just make sure you get the brain to Ama-chan, okay?"

"Wait, Nagisa--"

But Nagisa wasn't going to wait for Rei to protest. Rei clenched his teeth and took the bottle down the stairs to the shelter. But then--no. He couldn't. He ran back upstairs and ignored the pizza shop staff shouting after him. He couldn't leave Nagisa to do that alone. No matter what danger there was, they would have to face it together.


	6. Chasing the RABIT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Nitori, Ran and Ren, and Makoto and Haruka deploy to face the first double event. Rei and Nagisa run for their lives. The whole thing might be too much for Makoto to handle.

The three Jaegers were in the ocean, ready to fight. All neural handshakes holding, all systems ready to go. Kou surveyed her screen, satisfied, but nervous. They had never had two kaiju at once before, and she didn't like that they were heading straight for Hong Kong. Like they knew.

"Rin, Nitori," Kou said into the intercom, "I want you to hang back. I need your Jaeger in top working condition."

"Yeah, sure," Rin answered, but he didn't sound pleased.

Mikoshiba stood over her shoulder and chuckled. "You can't keep those two out of a fight."

She stiffened at the criticsm. "I've worked with Rin before. I know what he's like. He is my brother, after all." 

"Then you know he'll jump in as soon he has sights on the kaiju."

Kou did know. But she also knew better than Mikoshiba, because she knew it wasn't about needing to be in a fight for Rin. It wasn't even all about avenging their father's death. At least, back then, it had been about fighting alongside friends. It had been about sharing that space in the drift with someone and accomplishing something together. But the way he spoke now, she wasn't sure what drove him. It was like he'd forgotten the reason he started doing all this.

\------

Rin opened and closed his fist. The Jaeger did the same. "We've got to get in there," he said.

In front of them, the two kaiju were just now engaging the other two Jaegers.

"Your sister told us to stay back," Nitori said. "We're the ones who will have to go into the breach."

"Doesn't mean we can't kill a couple of kaiju on the way."

"Senpai--"

"We've been drifting for five years, Nitori. I'm not your senior officer anymore."

"Y-yes. But--"

There was a loud roar from one of the kaiju that shuddered through their Jaeger, even from this distance. And then it pushed Twin Blade down, under the surface of the ocean, claws digging into the metal hull.

There was no hesitation from either of them. Rin and Nitori ran into the fight.

\------

Haru fired the plasma cannon. It struck the monster in the face. The kaiju roared and reeled and collapsed back into the ocean.

"It's not down," Mako said, as he prepared another charge.

Haru knew, though, and didn't drop his stance an inch.

They were both on full alert, ready to attack and defend the moment the kaiju was sighted, eyes locked on the screen.

It came back up, and Haru put his arm up to stop the bite from reaching the hull. He cringed as the feeling of sharp teeth dug into his arm.

"Mako--" Where was Makoto's charge? He should've shredded the belly of the kaiju by now.

Haruka took control of the right arm just in time to meet the kaiju's right claw. He closed his hand around its arm and held it in place.

"Mako!" He turned his head to see Makoto staring, face pale.

"Ran and Ren--"

Haruka glanced at the readings on the screen, the ones he had been ignoring until now because they weren't part of the fight with this kaiju, and he saw the other kaiju had Twin Blade trapped underwater and was tearing apart the Jaeger.

And Haru felt the surge in emotion, the wave of fear.

"No, Mako--I need you here--"

But Mako was gone, and Haru felt the drift pull him down too.

Random Access Brain Impulse Triggers. Or, in pilot slang, chasing the RABIT. It happened to inexperienced pilots, or traumatized ones. Reliving a moment of heightened emotion, and forcing your drift partner to do the same. In some cases, completely random, the way thoughts happen by accident, and you recall something you didn't mean to, by an unconscious association. Or, in the worst cases, triggered by something directly related to the memory. Worse because it was harder to pull out of once you were sucked down, like being caught in a riptide.

Which is how Haru found himself back in a Conn-Pod, but not his Conn-Pod. This was Makoto's Conn-Pod from eight years ago, and water was rushing in through the left side, drowning Makoto's partner.

"Mako! Mako, snap out of it!"

But Makoto was eight years younger and too busy unfastening himself from the Jaeger to hear Haruka.

"Mako this isn't real! It's a memory!"

He tried to grab Makoto's arm, something, anything but it was impossible. Makoto took a deep breath and went under to try to rescue his partner.

Haruka could feel the physical strain on his own body, eight years in the future, as he tried to hold a kaiju at bay single-handedly.

"Makoto, I need you!" He shouted over the rushing water as it filled the whole Conn-Pod. He went under, but there was no trouble breathing. It wasn't real. But how could he make Makoto see that?

Haruka felt every ounce of fear and desperation as Makoto unfastened his unconscious partner and tried to swim against the current of rushing water, out the torn side of the Jaeger. He knew how futile it was. That the man had been under for too long already. That he was unconscious and his lungs were probably already full of water. That he was probably dead the moment the water filled the pod.

"Makoto!" he shouted one last time through the water.

\------

Rei and Nagisa ran against the crowd of people, who were disappearing into public shelters as fast as they could.

"Wait, but what will you do when it does find you?" Rei shouted.

Nagisa ignored the question and kept running.

Yeah, that was pretty much the answer Rei expected.

They reached the ocean. There were no people around. No one was as stupid as they were right now.

They looked out from the dock as it started to rain.

"I can't see anything," Nagisa frowned.

"For two kaiju they must've sent out all three Jaegers." Rei took his glasses off and tried to wipe them on his shirt, but his shirt was soaking wet. "They might not even get this far."

But then a kaiju leapt out of the water right in front of them. They both screamed from the shock as the ocean water doused them, far colder than the rain, and they ran for cover. But there wasn't exactly anywhere to find cover from a kaiju.

They ended up running into what was a maze of intermodal containers, stacked on the pier ready for export. Which would have been fine if they were running from a madman with a knife. But it wasn't going to be too much help against a 400-foot kaiju.

They ran anyway, until a wall of bright blue acid sprayed over their heads and they were forced to take shelter inside a container to avoid being dissolved to death.

"They don't usually spit acid do they?" Rei huffed as they took a minute inside the dark freight container to catch their breath.

"Never seen it before. Be fun to get a sample."

Rei shook his head. He couldn't understand how Nagisa was still smiling through all of this. Like running for their lives was fun.

"Ready to run again?"

Rei took a deep breath and nodded. 

They bolted out of the container and Rei glanced over his shoulder to try to see the kaiju. He couldn't, but he heard a lot of loud crashing sounds. And then an explosion. And another. And the saw spray of kaiju blue.

"Nagisa--Wait."

They stopped.

"Gotta be a Jaeger, right?" Nagisa ran back the way they had come. Back towards the kaiju that was trying to kill them.

"Nagisa!" Rei shouted, and, knowing it was completely illogical, ran after him. Seeing a Jaeger and kaiju battle up close wasn't something Rei had ever wanted to do, but he also didn't want to be left alone, and he didn't want Nagisa to be alone either.

So they ran out of the maze of crates--which was a lot easier when half of them were dissolved in acid--and found the acid-spewing kaiju doing battle with a Mark V Jaeger.

"It's Rin!" Nagisa shouted. "Go Rin!"

Rei was sure the pilots couldn't hear them, but in a moment like this, it felt right. He cheered too.

The Jaeger grabbed the acid pouch from inside the kaiju and ripped it out. But not without taking a lot of damage as pieces of the left arm eroded beneath the electric blue acid.

The right arm gave the kaiju a sharp uppercut. The monster fell backwards, but with its tail slammed against the Jaeger's legs. The Jaeger went down on one knee and the kaiju ripped the damaged arm off. The Jaeger fired missiles into the kaiju's chest. The monster slowed, but managed to get its claw into the left side of the Jaeger.

Rei gasped. "They know where we put our pilots."

"How could they have--"

But Nagisa didn't finish, because the right arm plasma cannon fired up and blew shot after shot into the kaiju's already injured chest, dissolving the beast into little more than a pile of kaiju blue and scattered guts. The monster went down for good.

And the Jaeger shut down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might end up being 8 chapters. It depends on how much exposition/character development I need before I send the boys into the breach. So you might get a surprise chapter. Though I guess its not a surprise if I told you.


	7. Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin, Nitori, Haru, and Mako have to report for their actions during the kaiju battle. Marshal Amakata is out four pilots and three Jaegers. Can Operation Freestyle really happen? And Nagisa gets ready to drift with the full kaiju brain....

"You disobeyed a direct order," Marshal Amakata reprimanded the Jaeger pilots in front of her.

Nitori bowed his head apologetically.

Rin, however, rolled his eyes. "I think we killed two kaiju, and saved the lives of everyone in the city, your only two scientists, and your last Jaeger pilots."

"And now your Jaeger is useless! We don't have the time or supplies to restore it, and besides that your co-pilot is injured and can't pilot."

Rin gritted his teeth. On one hand, she had a point. But he wasn't going to apologize for saving the lives of people he cared about.

He and Nitori had rushed into the battle, managed to kill the kaiju that was pinning Ren and Ran under, haul them to the surface so a rescue team could help them, then go after the kaiju that Haruka and Makoto had failed to stop. Rin wasn't sure what happened. From his perspective, their Jaeger froze and the kaiju spit into its chest. The blue acid had burned its way through the center core, short-circuiting the Jaeger and forcing it to shut down.

Rin suspected that Makoto had lost control in the drift, but Marshal Amakata seemed to think the day's failures were solely his fault.

He would take the blame for Nitori's injuries. If he'd been quicker and steadier, they wouldn't have fallen from something as ridiculous as a tail-swipe, and the kaiju would have never gotten its claws into Nitori's arm. But everything else was definitely not his fault.

Marshal Amakata sighed. "Well, I hope you're happy. We'll have to abandon Operation Freestyle and find some other way to save the world with no time and no funding."

"Weren't you a Jaeger pilot once?" Nitori asked.

She stiffened. "I swore to myself I would never get back in a Jaeger."

Rin rolled his eyes. "If there was ever a time, it would be now." Not that he particularly wanted to drift with his superior officer. "But anyway, there aren't any Jaegers left."

Their Jaeger could easily be repaired, but supplies were mostly going to the wall effort. Twin Blade had minor hull damage, so it was probably fixable, but with Ren and Ran still unconscious, there was no one to pilot it. It was a Mark IV, and Rin had no experience with it. Golden Boy was a Mark III, but it was inoperable now. The core would have to be replaced, and there was no time for that.

"There's Shark Bait," Marshal Amakata said. "If we refit your Jaeger's weapons for a Mark III, it could be operable."

Rin's hands tightened into fists. "No."

"If there was ever a time, it would be now. Haruka Nanase is still able to pilot. You two are the only pilots left. There isn't much of a choice."

"You pilot with Haru." He folded his arms and slouched in his chair. He knew he looked like a pouty child, but he couldn't drift with Haru. It wasn't going to happen.

"Haruka does not pilot well with just anyone. He has a very select few people he is drift compatible with, and you are still one of those people. I expect to see you on deck, ready to go to the breach at 0600 hours." 

Rin tried to protest again, but she ended the conversation before he could get a word out.

"Dismissed."

\------

Makoto stood outside Marshal Amakata's office, waiting for her to be done reprimanding Rin before it would be his turn. He knew he'd messed up, badly. He should've never gone back into the field. And he knew everything Marshal Amakata was going to say to him. He fidgeted nervously. It would be easier if Haru was here, but... Haru often disappeared at times like this. He was probably searching out something still and quiet, reminiscent of the drift.

Rin and Nitori came out. Rin looked furious.

"Rin, is everything okay?"

But Rin ignored him and kept walking.

"Sorry," Nitori apologized with a slight bow, and ran after Rin, careful to keep his injured arm still.

"Tachibana," Marshal Amakata's voice called.

"Yes," he answered quickly and stepped into her office. He took a seat. It was still warm from when Rin had been sitting here--or maybe it had been Nitori.

"Where is Haruka?" she asked, with a touch of worry in her voice.

"Probably somewhere quiet."

"He was supposed to be here."

"Haru's never been good at that. Sorry."

Marshal Amakata pressed her lips together and looked to the ceiling in thought.

Makoto shifted nervously. He didn't like that she hadn't scolded him for chasing the RABIT yet. He was an experienced pilot. He should've known better. It was just that--

He shook his head and tried to clear the mental image of Ren and Ran drowning from his head. They were alive, at least, even if they were still unconscious. Which was another reason he was anxious for this reprimanding to be over. He wanted to go and see them.

"Marshal, I'm sorry I messed up. I put the mission in danger and your pilots. I should've never gone out. I'm sorry."

She seemed surprised by his apology. "Oh. No, it was not solely your fault. We knew it was a danger when we sent you out there. I think if it hadn't been your family, you would've been fine."

Makoto wasn't sure. He might've reacted the same way if it were Rin or Haru.

"You can take the frog from the pond, but you can't take the pond from the frog, right?"

Makoto just nodded. He had no idea how that was applicable. He wasn't a frog and it wasn't a pond. Or were the Jaegers frogs? He didn't follow.

"Since Haruka's not here, I'm entrusting you to communicate this message to him."

"Oh."

"Tell him he is to report to the deck at 0600 hours, ready to carry out Operation Freestyle."

Makoto couldn't hide his surprise. "But--what Jaegers do we even have? Or pilots?"

"Just tell him to be ready, please," she smiled, but it wasn't a pleasant smile. It was a smile that demanded immediate obedience and was offended by his questioning of her authority.

He nodded. "Yes ma'am."

"Good. Dismissed."

He stood and ran a hand through his hair. What in the world was her plan?

And then he remembered how angry Rin looked. Oh. That was her plan. He wasn't sure that was going to work out so well. 

\------

Nagisa hooked together the last of the chords and took a deep breath. "Okay. Ready to drift." He wasn't one to hesitate, but he paused when he put the drift gear over his head. Drifting with a small piece had been overwhelming. He would be lying if he said he wasn't scared to do it with a full kaiju brain.

"W-wait. Nagisa."

He paused, hand over the button, and looked at Rei.

"I'll go with you."

Nagisa's trepidation was suddenly displaced by a huge grin. "Really, Rei? You'd do that for me?"

Rei adjusted his glasses. "Well it would be foolish to do it alone. Seeing what the last drift did to you, and logically the larger brain would have a larger impact on you. The only reasonable thing to do is to split it between two of us, the way Jaeger pilots do."

Nagisa could've kissed Rei he was so happy and grateful. But he settled for a really big hug and pounced on Rei.

Rei awkwardly patted him on the back in return, and put on the headgear.

They took a deep breath in unison.

"One."

"Two."

And, "Three!" at the same time they pressed the button and entered the drift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, eight chapters. Whoops. But the last one will be a good one. I promise. It'll be like the episode of Free we've all been waiting for where certain people finally become friends.


	8. A Lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Haru go to the breach with no back-up and a plan that won't work. What can they do on their own against two Category Fours and a Category Five? Whatever happens, it's the end of something.

Makoto was unsurprised to find Haruka at the Shatterdome's pool. It was meant to be a space for engineers and pilots to train and relax. Right now, though, all hands were on deck weaponizing Shark Bait. The pool was empty, except for Haru.

Makoto unlaced his boots and sat at the edge of the pool. He rolled his pant legs up and stuck his bare feet in the water while he waited for Haruka to surface. He didn't call for Haruka's attention or ask him to talk. Makoto knew Haruka needed to be alone. They'd been through a lot. They'd nearly died, and it was his fault. If Haruka wanted space, Makoto would give it to him.

It must've been twenty minutes before Haruka finally acknowledged Makoto's presence. He swam to the edge of the pool next to Makoto and rested his arms on the tile. He put his head in the crook of his elbow, face turned towards Makoto, but eyes unfocused. Makoto knew he was listening anyway.

"Marshal Amakata is going through with Operation Freestyle!" Makoto said quietly.

Haruka didn't answer.

"She wants you on deck at 600 hours, ready to go out."

"There aren't any Jaegers left," he mumbled into his arm.

"I know. But she told me to tell you anyway."

"It won't be with you, will it?"

Mako shook his head. "I don't think I'll be allowed back in a Jaeger for a long time." Though, hopefully they wouldn't need Jaegers after tomorrow.

He felt Haru's fingers gently brush the back of his wrist. That same gesture Mako had extended so many times. Mako felt a wide range of sudden emotion swell in his chest and he thought it might come out in tears, so he swallowed it down. But he knew what Haru was trying to say.

_They'll be okay._

"Yeah. I know."

Mako squeezed Haruka's hand and smiled.

\------

_Elementary School. Success. Excellent grades. The first kaiju attack. Mourning. The second. The Jaeger program. Admiring the pilots, the heroes of their generation. Watching Haru-chan become a pilot. Watching Haruka Nanase's career as a pilot. Breaking records--and quitting. Throwing themselves simultaneously into kaiju research. Biology. Chemistry. Mathematics. Lectures. Papers. Degrees. Awards. Kaiju. Kaiju. Grown. Cloned. Manipulated. Earth. Destroyed. The breach. The bomb. The fallen planet. A wasteland._

Rei and Nagisa simultaneously yanked off the drift gear. Rei looked like he was going to be sick. Nagisa gasped for breath.

"Where's the comm?" Nagisa finally said when he could speak again.

Rei searched his pockets. "We've got to let them know--"

"Operation Freestyle--"

"It won't work."

\------

Haruka took a deep breath as he locked into the Jaeger. He glanced briefly at Rin, but Rin was focused on the overhead displays, so Haruka focused on the control panel in front of him.

It was all so familiar. Even after eight years, their Jaeger felt like home. He wanted to drift again. He was just scared Rin didn't feel the same way and it wouldn't work.

Well, either way, he'd know in about twelve seconds.

"Countdown to neural handshake," Kou's voice came through the Conn-Pod. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five--"

Haru glanced over at Rin.

"--Four, three, two--"

Rin glanced back.

_A locker slams shut. "And I get reprimanded?" Rin shouts. Haru tightens his fists. The shared grief over Mako hospitalized and his co-pilot dead. The shared anger at each other, at themselves. "If this is what the Jaeger program is to you, letting your comrades die, then I'm out." Rin screams and Haru holds back everything, everything that spills out in the drift--the words unsaid eight years ago: that it was bigger than that, that there were innocent lives, that they were soldiers, and coupled with it, all of Haru's new memories shared with Mako. Of drowning, of losing someone while drifting with them. A pain that tears through your soul. Mikoshiba convincing Rin to rejoin the Jaeger program. The ocean. Meeting Nitori. Waves crashing on sand. Drifting again. Loneliness. A kaiju kill. Emptiness. Another kaiju kill. Rough sand. Moving to Hong Kong. Smooth tile. The drift._

And they were back in the Conn-Pod. Their Conn-Pod. Their Jaeger.

\------

Seijuuro burst into control room.

Kou whipped around to glare at him. "Haruka and Rin are my team. You promised--"

"No," he panted, "It's not that. It's about the plan, the operation. Your K-science team. They did the--the drift thing."

"What about it?"

"You need to pull Rin and Haruka out. It's not going to work."

\------

"Did you guys hear me?" Seijuuro's voice echoed through Jaeger cockpit.

"Yeah, nothing gets through except kaiju." Rin gritted his teeth. "Even if the breach is open. We'll head in."

"Wait--" Kou said. "There are two kaiju signatures coming from the breach. Category Four." One Jaeger against two Category fours? She bit down on her lip. "Maybe come in anyway. We'll send fighter jets--"

"What good is that going to do?" Rin snapped back.

"But two Category Fours--"

"We'll be fine," Haruka said. And they switched off the comm link for a moment.

They hesitated, the two of them sharing the same doubt: Could they really take on two kaiju by themselves? And the answer came just as quickly: Together, in a Jaeger, they could take on anything.

\------

Seijuuro leaned over Kou's shoulder and looked through her display. "Your scientist--the weird one--"

"Which one is that?"

"Uh, the glasses. He said there should be three kaiju."

"But there are only two."

Seijuuro frowned. "I know Rin won't back out. But you should warn them."

\------

It was the last of their ammunition fired into the second kaiju. Their right arm was hanging limp at his side, gears disconnected. Their left leg was barely functional, dragging behind them with each step.

Thank god it was over.

They switched their comm back on.

"--aruka! Rin!"

Rin rolled his eyes. "What? We're fine. We did it."

"Rei says there should be a third kaiju!"

They swore at the same time.

"Kou," Haru said quickly, "Rei said only a kaiju can get through the breach."

"Yes. The explosives will bounce right off."

The same thought floated to the surface of the drift.

Rin nodded. "We just have to put the bomb inside the kaiju."

Their Jaeger limped towards the kaiju carcass, lying in the silt of the ocean floor, chest torn to pieces. The left arm reached to the nuke on the Jaeger's back, detached it, and shoved it into the kaiju body. Then they grabbed the corpse and began to drag it to the breach.

"Kaiju signature rising," Kou's voice warned. And she gasped. "Category--"

"Category 5," Seijuuro finished. "You guys are too damaged. Get out of there. We'll set off the nuke and it should take out the kaiju. It's too risky for you to engage."

Rin and Haru glanced at each other. Something like determination and an acceptance of futility floated to the surface of the drift.

"Even if we wanted to," Rin answered, "we can't move fast enough to get out."

"We'll take out this kaiju," Haru said, "and then drop the nuke into the breach."

"W-wait--" Kou said, but they switched off their comm. There was no point in listening to headquarters protest. They couldn't get out of it now.

"What have we got left?" Rin asked, searching through their armory as they walked.

Haru shrugged. The Jaeger shrugged too. "Not much."

They could see the Z-shaped fire of the breach. And looming in front of it was a monstrous kaiju, bigger than any they'd ever seen.

Haru let go of the kaiju corpse and loaded the plasma cannon. They had enough energy for maybe two shots. That wasn't nearly enough for a kaiju of this size.

The monster roared. The Conn-Pod shuddered.

Haru waited.

The kaiju lunged. Its claws dug into the Jaeger's shoulders. The boys flinched, and now, Haru moved. He swung the arm up into the soft belly of the kaiju and fired.

The entire Conn-pod rocked as the kaiju dug its claws under the cockpit of the Jaeger, as if it was trying to separate head from body.

"It knows we're in here!" Rin shouted.

Haru fired again. And that was it. He switched to the last weapon in their arsenal--the sword.

The metal linked together on the back of the kaiju fist. Haru shoved it into the belly of the kaiju and dragged sidways while Rin held their ground. The kaiju screamed, that high-pitched, inhuman, horrible sound. It clawed at their head. Sparks flew from the ground and red flashed in the cockpit. Warning lights and whistles. The head was detaching. There wasn't much time left.

"Haru! Shove this bastard back. Let's send him home."

And Haru knew exactly what Rin's plan was. Abandon plan A, the nuke, and instead ride this kaiju into the breach. Shark Bait was a Mark III, nuclear, and would serve the purpose of destroying the breach if they detonated it.

Together, they pushed forward, against the kaiju. Even with the limp, they managed it. Haru twisted the sword with every step, pushing it farther and farther into the screaming kaiju. They pushed across the ring of fire, and down, and then they were falling, through the throat.

Rin punched the nuke controls and tried to activate the detonation.

"Cockpit controls damaged. Manual override required."

Rin looked to Haru, and Haru shook his head.

"My turn," Haru said quietly, and detached himself from the Motion Rig.

"Haru, don't you dare--"

But it was too late. Haru reached over and activated Rin's escape pod. As Rin was lifted upwards, Haru felt the drift disconnect, like the shock of coming up for air after staying under water for a long time.

Haru had no guarantee he could activate the meltdown and reach an escape pod in time, but that wasn't important to him. He'd saved Rin, and that was what was important to him.

\------

Rin's escape pod broke through the ocean surface and opened. He sat up quickly and scanned the horizon desperately. "Haru!" he shouted, and slammed his fist against his escape pod.

He felt miserable, like it was somehow his fault. Because maybe if he hadn't left eight years ago, maybe if he hadn't blamed Haru so much for not saving Mako, Haru wouldn't have this self-sacrificial need now. It should be him down there, manually destroying the nuclear core.

He pushed the communication on his pod. "Kou! Kou is Haru okay?"

"Rin! Rin you're alive! Thank god."

"Is Haru alright?"

"The breach is gone. His pod should be surfacing. 300m--200m--but Rin--it's not reading any--"

But he didn't want to hear it. He saw Haru's pod come up on his left, and he dived into the water. He reached Haru's pod within minutes and pried it open.

"Haru!" He shouted, but Haru didn't flinch. Desperate, Rin climbed on top of him and thrust the heel of his palm twice into Haru's chest. "Haru, don't--" He clenched his jaw shut and bowed his head low. He thrust again. "Haru, please. I'm sorry." He felt like he was near tears. "Haru, I'm so sorry, I--"

"I know," Haru answered. His voice was quiet, tired, but peaceful.

Rin wanted to laugh. But he didn't even have the energy. With a relieved breath, he sank down and rested his head on Haru's chest.

They stayed like that, perfectly still, just listening to each other breathe, until the rescue teams arrived. They could've stayed like that for hours, though. They could've stayed like that for a lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and thank you extra special for those who commented and for those who left kudos! It means a lot to me. I like knowing how people feel about my writing. It helps me be a better writer. Criticism is always appreciated. I want to know everything I can to be better.


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